The Young Assassins

The Young Assassins. Episode # 145, season 7.
Originally sired September 10 1974.

The season opener of Season 7 starts off with a bang as the cherubic Larry Wilcox (of "CHiPs" fame) shoots a sweet tourist at point blank range with a nickel-plated automatic. The assassin throws some medallion on the victim and claims to be a representative of "The People's Attack Group"--a kind of Symbionese Liberation Army like group of failed campus radicals who have no problem with Manson-like murder to achieve their goals. Anyways, the PAG eventually kidnaps Dan-o and a college professor and keep them held up in a way which greatly reminded me of the FLQ crisis in Quebec. I wonder if the writers had any knowledge of the FLQ terrorists--they certainly take a determined swipe at the German authorities for their cowardice towards the Palestinian terrorists who destroyed the Munich Olympics. McGarrett eventually rescues Dan-o (showing a concern which, for McGarrett, almost borders on the friendly) and makes his feelings about terrorists well known: "Never! Never. Never. I say we draw the line right here and now. We don't give an inch. Not one inch. How can you deal with people like that?" These days, when people like Howard Dean think the best way we can deal with terrorists is by saying "Talk to me, girlfriend," McGarrett sounds more spot on.

Highlight: When a message come through on the CB radio, McGarrett is on his office couch having a nap just like Andy Capp!

The Sweet Release of Poi

"Aloha suckers" McGarrett said as I sat down to poi
Bring me the head of the skinhead and bring me poi
Certifiably drown'd in an undoctored poi
Delirium has its dander but I have my poi
Every good boy deserves favorable appetite for poi
"Friendship's full of dregs" said Timon of Poi
Goodyear Theatre Presents: Don Ho in Time for Poi
He was a Sk8er poi, said See ya later poi
I'm not thinking of the poetry in poi
Jack in the Box's special "Jack Poi"
Kono was fired for his speech on "Traitorous poi"
Lono's godhead is best in a lead spoon of poi
Marlboro Lights best tend the taste of poi
Next to death I will always have poi
Oahu will always have the poor and the poi
Pretty girl on her knees needs poi
Quothe the Raven "never poi"
Run, Rabbit and farewell to poi
Spring books will not include my "Lardpoi."
Tony says to Angela "poi, eh; eh, poi"
Unless you really like my poi
Victory is best silenced with poi
Western Pictures silent film star Gwendolyn Poi
X-factoring the purple vagaries of poi
You know nothing about who eats poi
Zulu played Kono and Zulu definitely ate poi

Mother's Deadly Helper

Mother's Deadly Helper. Episode # 142, Season 6.
Originally aired: Feb. 2 1974

A vicious criminal is set free and an outraged vigilante take him out with a 440. Even better, the vigilante imagines McGarrett as a sympathetic comrade ("I know what you think of those types . . ."), as he must be sickened by all the pinkos who are making the law an easy obstacle for crooks to jump over. Another great Vietbam sub-drama being articulated in his frustration: the shooter hangs out in an arcade and continues with his "friendship" with McGarrett until Steve's true sentiments are revealed and everything is solved (as things tend to be on 5-0) with a chase up and down fire escapes.

Highlight: McGarrett reading the vigilante's first letter, paying particular attention bad grammar: "Steve it was me shot him."

One Born Every Minute

One Born Every Minute. Episdoe # 137, Season 6. Originally Aired January 8 1974.

"You've been taken by a high class bunco operation" McGarrett snappily tells a couple of idiotic tourists who taken by a scam by legendary con artist Joe Connors (St. Elsewhere's Ed Flanders). Lots of driving around Oahu in a red convertible as the sexy moll-wife lays the bait for the next stooge (Recognizable to me as one of the Star Trek lonely planet madmen) who wants to stray from his battleaxe-wife. Five-0 methodically (as always) find out the scammers who are praying on rich married men "with their bellies and funny shirts." I particularly liked McGarrett's advice to Dan-o and Chin about this being like "Hunting quail--tip toe all the way."

Highlight: McGarrett's almost mad scientist laugh when he asks "How does it feel to be conned by a dumb cop?"

Hawaii Fourteen-O

Hawaii Fourteen-O

Tiger by the tail, Twenty-four karat kill,
To hell with Babe Ruth, Who says cops don't cry,
Rest in peace somebody, King of the hill,
Practical jokes can kill you, Samurai,
Ten thousand diamonds and a heart, Skinhead,
The Guarnerius caper, The burning ice,
The King Kamehameha blues, Heads you're dead,
Is this any way to run a paradise?
Mother's deadly helper, Run, Johnny, Run,
Odd man in, Wooden model of a rat,
Over fifty? Steal, The one with a gun,
The big kahuna,Woe to Wo Fat,
The flip side is death, Pig in a Blanket,
Sweet Terror, A bullet for McGarrett.